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Me Issues

Wow. I’m having the hardest time finding a blog idea. This isn’t like me. Usually, I have too many to post. I know what my problem is so I should be able to move past it.

My friend Lyn over at Lyn’s Licks & Laughs says it more eloquently than me today, but this local murder has me so depressed. She has details and links but I find I can’t follow them today. The TV is off because we’re drowning in this story here and I think I’ve had enough bad news this week.

I even tried to keep the actual details of it from my kids. They knew the little girl died, but not how. I didn’t think about school. Yesterday, my daughter came home crying and asked me to explain why someone would do such a thing. Then later, my eight-year-old son heard she died during a news commercial plug and asked me why anyone would kill a ten-year-old girl.

It’s not something that can be explained. You offer the general “he was crazy” or sick in the head. You tell them bad things happen and there are bad people out there. You use it shamelessly to remind them that’s why you don’t let them go here alone or why you’re so strict about other things. But a child isn’t going to understand something like this. Ever. I’m an adult and I can’t.

Since I’d rather not bring all my readers down, I’ll pick up the posts tonight or tomorrow. I have more medical tests today, so that’s on my mind as well. It’s just possible, I’m a little down cause I don’t feel well either. Take care. Hug someone you love today. 🙂


  1. April 18, 2006    


    I wish we could keep all the bad stuff away from our children.

    And, I hope you begin feeling better soon. I’m sick too, but I don’t go to the Dr. unless I can’t function.

    With my luck, I probably have pneaumonia and don’t even know it. 😉

  2. April 18, 2006    

    I don’t like going to the doctor either. I’ve been going on and off since January. I hope they figure out what’s wrong with me soon. Some of the tests take two weeks for results so when they come back bad, they start a new round of tests. I wish there was just one big test that told everything. In fact, I wish we had those medical things from Star Trek. (g)

  3. Jen Jen
    April 18, 2006    

    Medical things like from Star Trek would be a very good thing. I have a friend whose husband is going through a lot of tests and they still don’t really know much of anything.

    All I’m going to say about the other is there has got to be a special kind of hell for people like that.

    Hope you feel better ASAP.

  4. April 18, 2006    

    (1) Forgive me, but I’m a little more anxious about your health than I am saddened by Jaime Bolin’s murder (although that is one of the saddest things I’ve heard). I read in one of your January 2006 posts that the doctors had you on antibiotics. Do they now have some sort of new theory?

    (2) The medical thing from “Star Trek” is called a ‘tricorder.’

    (3) What I find really alarming about Bolin’s murder is the fact that her alleged killer was a blogger.

    I won’t say that he was a blogger like we are, because he isn’t like we are, of course. But this case brings the issue a little closer to home. (Since you and others who respond here are from Oklahoma it strikes doubly close to home).

    Most disturbing to me is that he seems to have seen this child as some sort of thing (forgive the tortured language, but I firmly believe in the concept of presumed innocence), that he had a right to play with.

    As difficult as this may be to accept at the moment, there is a bright side to this story. After all, Andrei Chikatilo killed thirty children.

    Police, as of yet, have not implicated Underwood in any other homicides as of this posting. If he has killed before, then Underwood has been stopped. If Bolin’s his first victim, then many lives have been spared by his speedy arrest and incarceration.

    While this does nothing to relieve the grief of Bolin’s family, it will go a long way in diminishing that of twenty-nine (or who knows how many) others.

    (4) Lyn’s post was informative, and I will make a point of telling her so.

  5. April 18, 2006    

    We don’t watch the news. Ever. In fact, to see how the weather is, we step outside. Depression runs deep in my family and I just shut myself off to things that I know will bring me down.

    My best friend asked me yesterday how I felt about the murder. I had no clue as to what she was talking about. I wish she would have never mentioned it. It literally makes me sick to think there is a man out there who thinks what he did is acceptable behavior.

    You’re right in telling your children, Rinda, that this man is sick. No normal human being would attempt anything this horrid.

    I hope your tests go well. Maybe you can tell me what’s wrong with me since we have the same symptoms! I’ll be prayin’ for ya!

  6. April 18, 2006    

    X- The last thing I want to do is turn my fun blog into a whiny health one so I don’t post all about the tests, etc. Part of the reason the posts slowed down was due to these health issues.

    The thing in January was for something fairly common. H Pylori– which is a stomach bacteria that causes ulcers. I had liver tests come back bad, so today, we’re checking those levels. They could have been bad from all the antibiotics.

    I’ve also been going in for different tests like an upper GI, ultrasounds. That’s why I wished for a tricorder– thanks for the name, btw. If there was just one big test, it would save a lot of hassle and worry.

    Turns out, there are two issues so we’re trying to see if they’re related. Possibly gall bladder which is what I’m hoping for since it’s an easy fix– and or some sort of allergy or asthma. The doctors have been trying to find the stomach issue and now the breathing one has caught up. The lack of air is causing the headaches… Even I can’t stand how pathetic this sounds. (g)

    Bah. Who knows? I feel fine unless I eat or run. I’m hoping I’ve got some weird allergy. LOL! Should have seen me trying to play volleyball on Easter with the family.

    Lyn has a great blog. She’s written some pieces on Phillip K. Dick and on writing that are just fantastic.

    I do hope this was Underwood’s first time. I haven’t read the blog– I heard on the news this morning that it had been pulled so I don’t know if Lyn’s link will still work. The writer part of me wants to read it and try to understand, the mommy part of me runs away from it all.

    Does make one wonder if this will start a whole new era of blog watching.

  7. April 18, 2006    

    Oh, I caved and went to check out that link to his blog. I can’t believe it, but I read this blog before. I can’t remember why exactly.

    I went back a bit and read something he wrote that ripped me up. He talked about depression, about medication and about fantasies that would get him locked up.

    Yeah, I think this was the first one. I’m done. On to happy subjects now.

  8. April 18, 2006    

    Hey, girl – your health issues concern me as well. Keep us posted, okay?

    As for the alleged killer being a blogger, some of his interests in music, movies, books, and politics were pretty common to people I know and love. It was only when all of them combined that I saw any patterns. Meaning, I suppose, that it’s this guy-next-door (or girl) thang that spooks me. Ya just never know until the patterns unite and form a more cohesive picture.

    Get well.

  9. April 18, 2006    

    I remember agreeing with a couple of news stories he pointed out. I remember liking the title of the blog. But I didn’t read about any of the personal stuff. If you go back to that link someone put in the over six hundred full comment section, you’ll see that something was going horribly wrong.

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