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Blogging For Connection


Do you bloggers ever pull up your little piece of the Internet and hit a blank? 

Do you think that maybe you’re just not that interesting and have nothing of importance to say? 

Do you wonder why strangers out there could possibly be interested in what you cooked for dinner or how you managed your kids’ schedule? 

I’m one of those weird people who ponders such things. 

Whenever I don’t have something writerly to post, I will hit a blank.  Not always– in the beginning, I chatted up a storm about anything that caught my interest.  And those of you who have been here since then, know that I’m interested in a LOT of things.  But I’ve been focusing on one project and my varied research interests have taken a back seat– just look how long it’s been since I posted on 23rd Mandalation.  Got some guilt on that one.  🙂

I am writing up a review of the Alex Archer book that I freaking loved, btw– that will be posted some time by Monday.  I got another ARC of a Meredeth Fletcher book that looks wonderful and will read and post a review– I’m liking this review stuff, btw.   I didn’t think I would because well, I’m a painfully honest person and if I don’t like a book, I won’t lie about it.  It’s why I avoided reviews in the past.  I’m gettin’ over that.  I’ve also reached a level of writing experience to where I can fudge my way around if needed.  But if I don’t need to and I genuinely enjoyed the book, I’ll shout if from the rooftops. <g>

But I haven’t had a lot of time for writing lately and even when I do, I’ve been in a weird sort of contemplative mood.  I end up finding something else to do.  I’ve got this list of writing goals that’s looming over my head like some tenacious poltergeist and instead of doing my usual and tackling the damned thing, I’m just ignoring it. 

When I have been writing, it’s been in short, intense bursts and it’s not stuff I can hand over to my cps because it’s in severe roughdraft form and kind of all over the place.  Yet, it’s interesting stuff and once I work it over, I have a feeling it’s going to be good.  They’ll have to be patient and not give up on me because more than likely, this stuff will be coming along in a nice orderly fashion once I go back to rewrite. 🙂 

But… back to blogging. 

 Just why are we so interested in the personal lives of others? 

If you really think about it, it’s simple.  It’s the connection.  We find a sense of belonging in identifying with things.  You laugh at jokes you can identify with– you cry in situations you can understand.   For instance, there is a local hospital commercial that just tears me up every time it comes on.  And it’s on. A. Lot.  It’s about a little boy who dies on his seventh birthday and his organs go on to save another little boy’s life.  The commercial centers on the boy’s mother crying alone in a dark hallway while the doctors work on her dying son. 

Agh!!!  I’m tearing up just typing it. 

The commercial is so harsh, I turn the channel the minute the music starts now. 

But I identify with it because I have children.  I have a little boy who sometimes jumps into the street without looking as this boy did.  

My daughter drove– yes, drove– up in the Driver’s Ed car the other day.  Her father and I stood in the doorway, grinning like idiots as we watched her get out and casually walk up to the house.  She was laughing the entire way– because we were standing there like idiots. 

I was happy for her, yet my heart was beating like crazy because until that moment, her driving had just been an idea.  Kind of a blurry and in the future sort of idea.  Reality hit me in the face as I watched her park and exit the driver’s side.  She will be out there, driving herself places.  She will be at the mercy of all the other drivers– without me to watch over her.  It’s a level of freedom I’m sure she’s excited about, and yes, the thought of not having to drive her everywhere is appealing to me– but until I saw her get out of that car, I hadn’t realized how freaking SCARY this is. 

So, I share.  I share for the same reasons other bloggers share.  Some of you will find this post boring.  Yeah, this weird lady is freaked over her kid driving– she’ll get over it.  Some of you with children getting close to this age will feel your heart stutter just a bit then you’ll go on, secure that the time hasn’t yet arrived.  Others will smile and nod because they get it.  They will want to tell me that it gets easier.

That, in a nutshell, my friends, is why we write, why we read– why we watch movies and read blogs.  We want to connect with other people who share our experiences and feelings and know just for a little while that we aren’t alone in this journey. 


  1. November 18, 2006    

    Bless your heart, Rinda. My oldest is eight, and my husband and I argue over the appropriate age for our children to have a car. I say once they are adults. But that’s my opinion, not his. I prefer not to think about it. Sigh.

    And I like to think that blogging makes us brave. I love when you post. I enjoy the connection. 🙂

  2. November 18, 2006    

    I must admit that I started blogging just to write something everyday, to keep my hand in, so to speak, as I haven’t really written too many stories since I had my baby girl. My blog has become more about our everyday life as being with Katie everyday and raising her is my creative endeavour at the moment.

    I visit your blog regularly Rinda, as it is inspiring to read about you and your family – and you write as well. It is possible to have it all and I need to read about that.

    So, yes, I agree it is about connection, feeling like you aren’t the only one out there that gets blocked, has a bad day, falls in a heap and gets up again, or just plain needs to feel part of a community.

    Thanks, Rinda, for making a place for connections to happen.

  3. November 18, 2006    

    Well, I often stop by and read about Katie. It makes me remember when my daughter was that small and she said things like “Dawby” for doll baby and “Shwa” for fish. It’s a nice trip down memory lane. 🙂

    Heather, my daughter is getting my 1996 Honda Civic on her birthday and I’m getting a new car. I am excited about that one. I’m just not excited about her being at the mercy of other drivers.

  4. November 19, 2006    

    Sometimes, one of the best things that a friend could do for you is to simply be there. Regular posting means that you’re still with us, and that’s a comforting feeling.

  5. Nik Nik
    November 21, 2006    

    The Write Snark was the inspiration for creating my own blog. And it’s been so much fun to actually see things I’ve written on the screen and even more inspiring when people comment and e-mail me about what I’ve written.

    It must be a writer thing, to get all jazzed over reading your own stuff. Just to say, “Yeah, that was pretty good.”

    And it’s good to get out of your head once in a while. We writers live so much INSIDE ourselves we forget all the stuff outside.

  6. November 24, 2006    

    Rinda, I didn’t find your post in the least boring; au contraire, I was entranced by it. I’ve often wondered the same things (am I boring? why would anyone stop by and read this, let alone comment?). But I believe, as you say, that it is for connection, it is for feeling that one is not all alone. I am almost compelled to write, and see what people think, or to read what other’s write, and see how it effects me.

    Your post effected me deeply. I could not watch that commercial; losing my son is my greatest fear, and I am not a fearful person. In fact, I haven’t let him take driver’s ed and he’ll be 16 December 7. I like to think it’s because his grades are lower than they should be, and this is incentive to get them up. But, deep down, it’s because of what you say as you think of your daughter driving without you there to protect her. As if we could protect them anyway…there’s something so scary about the teenager belief in invincibility.

    At any rate, I find your posts intriguing, and thought provoking, and always engaging. I’m glad you write.

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